"Without concern for results,

perform the necessary action;

surrendering all attachments,

accomplish life's highest good."

"The wise man lets go of all results, whether good or bad, and is focused on the action alone. Yoga is skill in actions."

-The Baghavad Gita

In AA there is a concept of doing the action or work and leaving the results up to God. It is a hard one to put into practice. And there is a certain amount of balance that is needed. If I go on a diet, I expect to lose weight. But if I keep craving the desired result I drive myself absolutely batty when I don't get what I want. I know somehow that I need to let go of some of my obsession. I want the healthy diet thing to recede into the background (not disappearing) and I want to think less about how I look. The more I obsess, the more I do things to sabotage my efforts. And I get a result all right, just not the result that I am hoping for. I spend more time thinking about eating right and exercising than I do actually getting something done. Then I berate myself for slipping.

"If you want to be truly free, perform all actions as worship." - another quote from the Baghavad Gita

Maybe a good way to approach this is to view my body as a temple that I must care for reverentially. In many ways I have a good body that can do many things. I am relatively healthy and have a lot to be grateful for. It is really superficial of me to judge myself on how I look. Concentrating on how I feel might be a better way to go. If I eat good food and leave the junk alone, I feel much better. Perhaps eating a bunch of junk food is a form of self-punishment for who knows what. I do not feel very good after such a binge. Samskaras, those tendencies that exist in each of us, can be very strong and difficult to overcome. My addictive nature prompts me to look for some substance to ease whatever anxiety or boredom or depression arises. That substance has become food, junk food and coffee. However, I shouldn't view my attempts as futile. After all, I was able to quit smoking and that was something I wasn't able to do in the past. That is one victory for me.

"On this path no effort is wasted, no gain is ever reversed; even a little of this practice will shelter you from great sorrow." - The Baghavad Gita

Even when I feel there is no progress, I must believe that it is there. Some days things do go smoothly and I perform the necessary actions. Another tendency I have is to want immediate results. If my diet is good one day and I exercise then I don't understand why I haven't lost 50 lbs. I know it is illogical. It is continued effort that brings results.

I will meditate now on what I have written and try to make my effort an act of worship. Here to one more new start. At some point everything has got to come together. Amen.